Silver’s birth - Lucy’s story

I first heard about hypnobirthing years ago but it wasn’t until I heard Ellie’s birth story that I was convinced to find out more.

I really enjoyed my hypnobirthing classes and I learned so much. None of the lessons contained wild theories or old wives tales, they were straightforward practical strategies, explained using science, demonstrated with diagrams and exercises, and backed up with evidence. The most instantly life changing technique was how to use the stage 2 breathing to breathe out a poo! I couldn’t believe I had been wrongly pushing out poops my whole life! My husband Matt was surprisingly keen to attend the classes with me and I am so glad that he did. If he hadn’t learnt the things that I did we could have ended up with very different ideas about how the process was going to pan out.

I felt incredibly confident leading up to the birth and assured people I wasn’t worried about the ‘pain’, that I knew how to manage the surges and was aiming for a positive, natural birth experience. I stuck up diagrams in my bathroom with positive affirmations and reminded myself daily that women had been birthing for millennia and were designed perfectly for the process.

I decided on a home water birth, borrowed a pool and bought all the necessary accessories. I wrote a birth plan and sent it to a midwife friend of mine for approval. I practised my breathing and listened to the visualisation tracks. I wrote an additional birth plan for Matt and put multiple copies around the house. I was taking my training seriously and it was going to pay off. I felt calm and in control.

I knew that statistically I was most likely to have my baby after my due date and I was very prepared to wait. I politely declined a stretch and sweep on my due date and resigned myself to the fact that the baby was probably going to arrive on Christmas Day, so be it!

On the morning of the 22nd December, 3 days after my due date, I woke in the early hours to some faint contractions that I had not experienced before. I drifted in and out of sleep then got up at about 6am and texted my mum that I might be in labour. I had not experienced any kind of contractions or Braxton Hicks before so I couldn’t be sure. I knew I was in the extremely early stages of labour so when Matt got up I advised him to go out to Park Run as planned. My mum and sister came over and we went out for a walk with the dog, then Matt came home and my dad joined us too. By this time the contractions were so consistent it was clear that I was in labour. We spent the rest of the day playing games, doing the crossword and took another stroll. Dad took my dog back to their house. Mum stocked up on snacks for the midwives. She recorded the time between the start of each contraction which remained consistently at around 7 minutes all day. By evening I was getting tired, Matt set up the pool and I slipped into the warm water. At about 9pm I had a tearful moment, I think just from a long day of surges with no real progress. I had no idea that Matt had called Labour line and been informed that no midwives were available to come out until the following morning. Matt took the executive decision not to tell me because he knew that I did not want to go into hospital. I’m so grateful to him for making that call!

At about 10pm I sent the rest of the family home so it was just the two of us as I needed some quiet to concentrate on riding through the surges. Matt took over recording the times between surges but the number never really dropped below 4 minutes.

The surges increased in intensity as time went on and felt like when you are doing intense exercise for a short period of time. You know like in a circuits class where you have to do 20 seconds of an intense activity and then get a rest? Exactly like that. Sometimes its fine and sometimes you think oh god I can’t do another push up, but then the timer goes and you can rest. It’s tough but it’s not the screaming in agony that you see on TV. If you let the surge take over it hurts, just like if you jump and land with your legs straight, because you’re fighting against your own body. But if you remember to use your stage 1 breathing for the duration of the surge then it doesn’t hurt because it’s like softening the blow by bending your knees when you land. It’s just basic science!

The overnight hours were a blur of riding the waves and sleeping between surges. I split my labouring between shifts in the pool in the dining room, and the bathroom upstairs, mainly because with every surge I felt like I was going to poo so I felt safest on the toilet. At one point Matt tried to encourage me to lie down and rest but my body was screaming out to return to an upright position. Matt made regular calls to Labour line and always came back with the positive message that we were doing great and to just keep going. The time between contractions was decreasing but so minimally.

If Matt was terrified, he didn’t show it even for a fraction of a second. He stayed by my side the whole time, helping me in and out of the pool, rubbing my back, reminding me to drink and wee regularly, timing contractions, managing the pool temperature, trying to stop the liner from slipping into the water of the pool. He must have been exhausted, frustrated and lonely but he was the perfect image of calm, loving and supportive. He didn’t once attempt to share the burden of the unexpected dramas like the unavailability of midwives, or the heating breaking in the middle of the night. He let me focus on my job and took everything else on himself.

Finally, with the sun just beginning to rise outside, through the fog of exhaustion I heard the message from Matt that the midwives were on their way. I had been in labour for over 24 hours and as soon as they arrived at about 9am I asked for the gas and air. It was exactly what I needed and I used the drug with every surge so they felt less sharp and intense. My midwife Sam was amazing and took the entire burden that Matt had been carrying all night. The liner was slipping badly into the pool and Sam managed to fix it back onto the side, even with me still in the pool. I politely declined a vaginal examination and Sam asked if I would like to examine myself. I did and couldn’t feel anything so she said there was still probably a little way to go, which was fine now I had the gas and air! A little while later she asked me to try to have a wee as it had been some time but I was unable to go. She measured the baby’s heart rate and found that it was dropping and so again asked if I would consent to a vaginal exam. I examined myself again and could feel the baby’s head which explained the drop in heart rate as my daughter was ready to make her debut!

If the first stage of labour was hazy, the second stage was crystal clear as I focused entirely on breathing with the surges, not against them. Matt had to remind me to switch to my stage 2 breathing as I had been using stage 1 for so long that I forgot it was time for action! I was inside the pool, crouched down and hanging over the side. I remember the head being part way out when the surge finished, but instead of carrying on breathing down I waited patiently for the next contraction to keep her moving through the canal smoothly. Sam was amazing, never shouting at me to ‘push’ and instead coaching me in the best way to arrange my arms and legs to give my baby the ideal angles and room to come out. I remember when the head was out Sam was able to show Matt using a mirror underwater. I declined looking in the mirror myself as I thought it best to focus on finishing the job! Again I was very conscious of waiting for the contractions to come and not trying to fight against my body.

At just past 11am Silver fully entered the world with all her fingers and thumbs and a button nose. As per my birth plan, Sam caught her and put her straight to my chest. Matt [very] reluctantly agreed to join us in the pool and the midwives went into the kitchen to allow us to have skin-to-skin contact as a family of 3. Matt was tearful and overcome with emotion but I felt high and elated, so proud of myself for crossing that finish line.

The next few hours were very straightforward, the placenta came out easily, I was examined and found to have a tiny superficial tear that did not even warrant a single stitch. Silver latched on perfectly and was able to feed, and all her initial checks were fine. The midwives helped us to clean some blood out of the carpet and left us to get to know our daughter. By 3pm we were ready for the grandparents to come round to meet her and it was so nice to be back in our own bed after a sleepless night!

Unfortunately at her newborn check the next day Silver was discovered to have an infection that meant we all had to be in hospital for the next 4 days which was such a shame particularly as it was over Christmas. However, as our birth experience was so positive we were able to cope. The NICU staff were amazing and Silver responded so well to the antibiotics and made a full recovery. I’m so grateful to hypnobirthing as it meant that I was not having to recover from a traumatic birth or physical injury in addition to coping with an unwell baby and I could focus all my energy on doing everything I could to make sure Silver was getting everything she needed.